Within a few weeks of the birth of our first child, Diane and I were already imagining and anticipating how it would be when he was all grown up, had graduated from college and was out on his own. We had these same conversations after the birth of all three kids.

We love to know exactly what the near-term process is we’re supposed to be doing, we’re almost obsessed with it, to the point that at least in business, we’re too often okay with knowing exactly which direction we’re going without any idea where it’s leading us. It’s a little Yogi Berra-like “I don’t know where I’m going but I’m having a great time getting there.” Or in many cases, we have an insatiable need to know the process in all its detail before we will make a single move. Either way we find the process to be more important than the goal.

I have somewhere I have to be.

The only motivation book I will recommend to others is Self-made in America, by John McClintock. John introduced me to an obscure English word that I now use as a cornerstone of my daily activity – conation.

I’m not at all opposed to online networking – I use it all the time to build relationships, but no matter what medium you use to connect with people, it’s not about CONTACTS, but meaningful and lasting CONNECTIONS.  It’s ALWAYS about being social.  So maybe I do

“Social networking” is the apparent standard description of online networking.  But how is it that “social networking” is somehow just an online thing?  I get business from my neighbors, my family, my bicyling friends, my golf friends, my business friends, my clients, and from people I meet in a restaurant, as well as from people on Twitter and Facebook.

The Four Cornerstones of Success and Significance are A Big Motivator and the Three Bosses.

1. The Big Motivator – or The Big Why – Lifetime Goals
2. Boss #1 – A simple Strategic Plan that runs my daily business
3. Boss #2 – Process Maps and Process Descriptions to create freedom and a reproduceable business (and make it worth a lot more money)
4. Boss #3 – Outside Eyes on my Business to catch the blindspots and bring balance and completeness to my leadership.

It’s like a stream running downhill, winding all over the place to get where it needs to go. Those that get tired of hitting and overcoming beaver dams will quit.  Those that are able to clearly keep the goal in mind will keep going, pay the price and push their business over the top to profitability.  Those seven days were like a compressed microcosm of what it was like to build the seven businesses I’ve started over the last 25 years.

Want to be successful? It won’t happen because you have a great idea, big financing or slick marketing. It will happen because you know exactly what the goal is, you never lose sight of it, and you become a bulldog, doing whatever you have to in order get across the finish line, even if it means making your own rules.

Small businesses with the fastest growing revenue know exactly where they are going.  According to Inc Magazines 28th 500 fastest growing small businesses list, approximately 88% of them have a statement outlining where they are going. The other 12% are living dangerously.

That’s no surprise. As simplistic as this next statement sounds, it’s incredibly profound – People moving in a clear direction tend to get somewhere. The rest simply react and respond to the world around them by changing direction every time an outside influence creates adversity or opportunity, wandering and wondering their way through years of aimless business stagnation.

Bob Parsons of GoDaddy says simply “get and stay out of your comfort zone”. I agree and would add that adults don’t learn unless we are disoriented.

When we believe we ”know”, that is when we stop learning.  We must be disoriented from the comfortable zone we live in.

In the big picture there are really only three things we need to grow a Mature Business.

Are you wandering through your business wondering what it could be like when/if…?

We almost always get something close to what we intend.  Most people never think about what they want out of life, so they never figure out what their business should look like to support a life of significance.  As a result, most people never accomplish the things that would have made their lives count for so much more.  We wander through life wondering how it could be different.